A long downward crash with no way to pull up

I am reading a great book call The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. It is not great because it makes you feel good that is for sure. In fact I cant seem to read it without breaking down and crying. I keep hearing (also watching a video series at church) and reading about the Hope people felt with a plan in place but yet the more I read and the more I try and try to get gazelle intense about getting out of our student loan debt the worse I feel. I know the only possible way we can do it is to work like crazy people (as we don't have much to sell) and I am already mourning the lost time with my son. I tried to increase my income without paying the sitter the extra time by taking him with me thinking I would also feel better about not completely being separated from him but I just got frustrated and angry with him. I was sick and tired of being around him by the time I actually had the time (after work).

I am a nerd and I can't help but crunch the numbers and they don't give me any hope. It will still take years to drag ourselves out. I will stick with it and keep trying as my experience with loosing weight tells me that eventually you start to believe in what you practice and it gets easier.

By the way the crash implied by the title is an emotional one. I actually know we will not fail at getting out of debt I just also know it will be a very long time and a hard life that I emotionally struggle to endure. The thought of 3 to 9 more years of the status Que is frightening.

Here we go with.
Step 1: Emergency Fund $1000.00

Well we tried selling our most valuable (money wise) posesion, excluding the car needed to get Ben to work, our Big Screen LCD TV and stereo system. We found a buyer but they can only buy it in payments so getting our Emergency Fund done will be delayed if we use this to fund it.

I am requesting more hours at my original part time (used to be full time) job to help out but only time will tell here. If this doesnt work I am thinking about looking for a 3rd part time job. I allready work a 2nd part time job on my days off and this is the one that I tried to take Tyler along on.

Ben is looking for a part time job also (in addition to his law office) to get this paid and get the debt snowball rolling.

And of course we are praying for increased success at his law office which will also help.

Anyone know how I might have a winter garage sale or another way I might "find" some money?

Last night we went to the ZooBoo at Binder park Zoo. Jessie dressed as Dorthy and Tyler was the cowardly lion from the Wizzard of Oz. On the left they pose with a pumpkin guy on our way in. On the right Tyler is showing how he now has his Courage. Roarrrrr!!

We all had a good time and got lots of goodies.

Life at the speed of Wow!

So I am writing today to update everyone on things. I have spent the last month working 6-7 days a week between my part time job as a researcher and helping my parents with their business as they geared up for a move after being in the same location for over 17 years. It has been incredibly busy and I dont even know where the month has gone. I am not prepared for Halloween tomorrow but I am now forced to adress the topic as we are planning to attend the Zoo Boo tonight. I had a costume for my son Tyler but now I have no idea where it is since I was on a cleaning frenzie a couple months ago and now it is lost.

I am trying to stay sane in all of this but it has been hard. I tell myself that I need the money and any extra work I can get is worth it for our family but man is it stressful.

I have put my weight loss on hold as the stress and effort to move the bussiness has made the thought of exercising excruciating.

I hope to get on a normal routine within the next week or two. Lets hope so.

Positioning Yourself for a Miracle

I listened to a podcast today about how in order to position yourself for something extraordinary like a miracle you cannot expect and accept normal results. You must have Faith. The sermon came from the story in Mark Chapter 5 where a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years and could find no cure knew she would be healed if she just touched Jesus cloak. She expected a miracle and she found one. Others touched him as he was surrounded on all sides but the did not expect a miracle and thus did not receive one. The woman was healed by Faith.

I made a conscious decision today. I asked for and decided to trust God to work miracles in my own life.

You see Ben and I have enormous student loan debt to the point that the minimum monthly payments exceed my monthly income and Ben's income is unreliable at this point. We survive by the generosity of our family and we scrape just enough money together to pay our debts. In the past God has opened normal doors for us to just get by and continue to struggle because they are our solutions and not his. I work extra hours here and there, we borrow from family, I work a 2nd job occasionally.

I am now trusting that God will help Ben to skyrocket into a success with his Law office. I know that he will soon make enough to not only pay our debts but support us. We will pay off our debts early, we will purchase a home, we will find the finances to adopt and we will discover a financial peace that will allow us to give freely without worrying about the consequences of that giving on our own livelihood. We will be able to do great things for God and his kingdom through the generosity he will show us.

For those of you who know me this is a very big breakthrough as I have always relied on myself to find solutions to my problems and tend to be a pessimist. Please Pray for me so that I can remain in Faith and Trust God to work his wonderful plan in my life which I believe includes financial peace.

I would encourage you to Trust God in whatever struggle you are encountering as well. Imagine your life if God worked a miracle in that situation, write it down and then Trust that it will happen.

God bless and work Miracles in your life and mine.